Saturday, November 25, 2006

am Ignoring...


the blog before this one. I was being stupid. I still love her, though...


a lot.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

!!!!

...I feel like she doesn't love me anymore...

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I feel horrible..

I never ever wanted this to happen. I feel like I'm too much for her and that's the last thing I wanted to do. I'm starting to think that maybe I am too old for her and because of this it's not going to work. I love her to death, but I don't want to do this to her or myself anymore. I actually do kind of want to break up with her. I hate admitting to that and it would totally kill me, but maybe it's for the best... I'm never more happy than when we're together. But maybe she doesn't feel the same. Sometimes I feel like she doesn't care. This relationship is very one-sided. I have to cater to her constantly. She's the one that I have to be understanding to. I'm really sick of all of this. I've never been in a serious relationship before and this is all new to me. I know what I want and I know what I want to do but are those wants realistic? And is what I want to do the right thing? I want this relationship to work, I really do... but only if she does. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone if that someone doesn't want to be in one... I want to know what she's thinking and feeling even if it means that it'll hurt me. I'd much rather know than not know. Sometimes I think about what it would be like without her and I hate the way it looks... but maybe it would be better for the both of us. Leaving her is the very last thing I want to do, but maybe I should...

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Heartly

Dear Mom

Mother's Day just passed, so my timing's off, but better late than never. I was thinking this morning that how lucky I am to have had you & dad as my parents. Thank you for helping me become the person I want to be, for being my best friend and for not freaking out on me.

Thank you for treating me like someone you like and not just like an extension or reflection of yourself. You've taught me to be reasonable, fair, tough, careful, responsible and strong.

This past year has been crazy full of a million changes. I don't know how I would be okay wihtout your help.

^_^ Thank you and Happy Mother's Day !!