My Heart

Long time !

2008-07-31T02:12:00.002+05:30

Its been a very very long time coz I felt sick of myslef and my fate. All these days, I was happened to face frustrated and even more worse consequences which unfortunately led to feel myself insecure and stupid [yeah, I am though]. GRRRR

Candidly speaking, I even felt to cut off my throat, but you know what, this is Life, Struggle, Pressure, Frustration and mild happiness - I've famous quote saying 'DO THE IMPOSSIBLE' which will mesmerize me a lot.

Later on, in course of time, after facing and crossing all these hurdles, one beautiful day, I met someone over Internet, online chatting specifically. I just know the name of the someone is "planet". I showed him/her [see.. I dunno this also.. :)initially, ofcourse 'planet' said yes to SHE] my blog, planet said that 'I kinda inspired by your blog' - then I was totally fainted, I was thinking it is accident but believe me, I was knowingly or unknowingly remembering those chat transcripts everyday when i go to that site. CRAZY .. GRRRRR

planet told me one line which I will never forget in my life - "You will always search love in every girl you face"

Sometimes

2007-10-01T03:36:00.000+05:30

I don't want to do this anymore.
But I would be a fool to leave her over this.
It would be something to regret for the rest of my life.
I love her so much, but sometimes I don't know what to do...

RAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN

I'm just annoyed... this isn't some kind of serious problem we're having. I just need to escape:

She never shares her feelings!!!

And it finally happened - THE BROKE UP :(

Tragic is more like it. I deserve this! I do! I should be in the hospital. This is the most painful thing I've ever been through. I'd do anything to win her heart. I'd cut my fucking arm off. I want her to call me and say the word which am waiting to hear, I want her to get mad at me, I want her to grab me from behind and squeeze me 'till I think my ribs are going to break. AAARRRGGGHHHH !!!!

why am writing all this in this blog... Wow, this hurts.

Love ?

2007-06-11T13:50:00.000+05:30

Sucks

diabolic !!

2007-06-11T04:14:00.000+05:30

I don't know what her fucking problem is, but I'd like to see her more than once a day...
Is that too much to ask?Yeah, she calls a few times a day which is nice, but it's not enough.
Show me that you miss me instead of just saying it all the time...

Actions speak louder than words.

Because of you

2007-06-04T03:49:00.000+05:30

Because of you

my world is now whole,

Because of you

love lives in my soul.

Because of you

I have laughter in my eyes,

Because of you

I am no longer afraid of good-byes.

You are my pillarmy stone of strength,

I will joyously say 'I do',

for I have it all now

and it's all because of you.

Flower Power

2006-12-31T17:27:00.000+05:30

Yeah! It's true.. this is the power of flower which brought a new fragrance in my life, in my world..

This blog has become dedicated to my love and my relationship experiences.

?

2006-12-17T10:25:00.000+05:30

AHHHHHHHHHGRRRRRR!!!

I still love her though.. a lot

am Ignoring...

2006-11-25T19:44:00.000+05:30

the blog before this one. I was being stupid. I still love her, though...

a lot.

!!!!

2006-11-19T22:15:00.000+05:30

...I feel like she doesn't love me anymore...

I feel horrible..

2006-11-14T07:47:00.000+05:30

I never ever wanted this to happen. I feel like I'm too much for her and that's the last thing I wanted to do. I'm starting to think that maybe I am too old for her and because of this it's not going to work. I love her to death, but I don't want to do this to her or myself anymore. I actually do kind of want to break up with her. I hate admitting to that and it would totally kill me, but maybe it's for the best... I'm never more happy than when we're together. But maybe she doesn't feel the same. Sometimes I feel like she doesn't care. This relationship is very one-sided. I have to cater to her constantly. She's the one that I have to be understanding to. I'm really sick of all of this. I've never been in a serious relationship before and this is all new to me. I know what I want and I know what I want to do but are those wants realistic? And is what I want to do the right thing? I want this relationship to work, I really do... but only if she does. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone if that someone doesn't want to be in one... I want to know what she's thinking and feeling even if it means that it'll hurt me. I'd much rather know than not know. Sometimes I think about what it would be like without her and I hate the way it looks... but maybe it would be better for the both of us. Leaving her is the very last thing I want to do, but maybe I should...

Heartly

2006-11-09T09:41:00.000+05:30

Dear Mom

2006-11-09T09:02:00.000+05:30

Mother's Day just passed, so my timing's off, but better late than never. I was thinking this morning that how lucky I am to have had you & dad as my parents. Thank you for helping me become the person I want to be, for being my best friend and for not freaking out on me.

Thank you for treating me like someone you like and not just like an extension or reflection of yourself. You've taught me to be reasonable, fair, tough, careful, responsible and strong.

This past year has been crazy full of a million changes. I don't know how I would be okay wihtout your help.

^_^ Thank you and Happy Mother's Day !!

Am missing you!!

2006-09-11T16:11:00.000+05:30

My Heart is Missing You!!
When you are gone
I feel so alone
I miss you dear
when you are not here
You make my day
Like when the sun shines in May
I need to see your smile
and I wish I could see it more then just once in a while
You are such delight
and add joy to my nights
I want you to know what you mean to me
and oh.. I hope that you can see
My heart is missing you
and I wonder... do you miss me to?
I hope that you do
because I know I miss you!!
I always hope you are ok, and nothing is wrong
When will I see you again.. oh I hope it won't be long!
I need to know that you care
and that no matter what you will always be there
Remember this is for you, my friend
and to you I will send
So keep it close to you heart
and if you do, we will never part
My heart is missing you!!

She loves me

2006-09-01T22:47:00.000+05:30

"If I die never having loved, then I die never having lived"....

"If you could only see the way she loves me, maybe you would understand why I feel this way"....

"You are so beautiful, you are my destiny, you are my complete soul, after all you are me"....

"The greatest flower scent in my garden is your heart".

Only You

2006-07-10T14:31:00.000+05:30

I love you more than words could ever say,
I feel it growing in my heart each and every day,
All this love I feel
Has never felt so real

You give me something no one has ever given me,
It's something you cannot see
Love so strong, and so true
It makes me think of only you

Don't worry you're the only one for me
You, and I, and everyone else can see
I love you with all my heart
No one could ever make us part.

All My Life

2006-06-21T03:11:00.000+05:30

It was not so long ago
when I thought I'd never meet someone like you.
Wrong was I, thinking I'm in control
Believing I'd never fall.

All my life I thought no one would
melt a heart like mine, a heart so cold,
a heart hardened by the past,
protected by shields so vast.

Slowly I was falling
without even knowing.
Only to find out too late
I have no choice but to accept my fate.

I could dream, I suppose
forever, I could hope
there will never be any 'us', that's our destiny
so I wake up to reality.

I lied when I said
I didn't love you,
that my feelings for you
are through.

I lied
not because I wanted to
but because I love you
and I still do.

I wouldn't do a thing to hurt you
but I just have to let go.
I can't hold on much longer
'coz for us there's no forever.

I love you - those three words have my life in them.

Love

2006-06-04T01:06:00.000+05:30

One Love

2006-06-04T00:45:00.000+05:30

Dear Honey

There are no words to express how I feel about you. I constantly search for the words, and they all seem less than I truly feel. You are my life, my heart, and my soul. You are my best friend. You are my one true love. I still remember the day we first met. I knew that you were the one I was meant to be with forever.

As the years went by and we drifted apart, I still held onto the memory of you. I thought of you everyday, and dreamed of you each night. Just when I thought you had forgotten me, you would call and make all my dreams seem real. The sound of your voice on the line was the sweetest sound I would ever find. Then one day you gave me a call, and told me I might have a chance to rectify it all. My heart was beating hard within my chest. My hand was shaking and I could barely breathe. Then you came out to see me and I knew it was meant to be. Those were the sweetest days, of memories of the past. It went so quickly, I wanted it to last. The day you left, I wanted to die. You called me again, your voice on the line. I had to be near you, lying on your chest. I need to show you, that you were the best. So I made the decision to tell you how I feel. When you said you felt the same, I felt it was a dream. I packed up my stuff and altered my life. I never looked back, now you will make me your wife. I am on a cloud, living in a dream, and a few days from now, it will really feel real. I wrote this letter for you to keep, and when you need a reminder of how I feel. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, words cannot express how you make me feel. I make this promise to you my dear, to love you the way that you love me. I now look to the future and forget the past, your life is mine and we will make it last. I love you more today than I did yesterday, and I’ll love you more tomorrow than I do today.With all my heart I am forever yours.

Love Always and Forever,
Nani